I'd Do Anything for Love
by 4ever1
Summary: Superman must confess his manipulations Lois struggles with all the men in her life A mob boss trial brings unlikely forces together Chapter 5  Much Ado About Everyting  life, love and work
1. Chapter 1

Beta Team: Special thanks goes out to my very patient, very talented beta team: **RheaJediknigh**t, **markclark **and special technical consultant **vanel**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they are the rights of their perspective owners, I am not involved with Superman Returns or the Superman comics or any other Superman franchise. DC Comics owns Superman. I am not making money from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N : In my SR universe fics Clois was together for roughly six months before he erased her memories and left to find Krypton. Surprisingly while researching this fic, there was very little collaborating evidence for a birthday date. I picked the one which appears most common from Google, if it is wrong please let me know.**

**Written for the summer challenge on 12daysofclois on LJ**

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**Part 1 – Loose ends**

The lake was glass. The surrounding forestry reflected as an uninterrupted image in the tranquil water. The air was damp and smelled of summer.

Lois sat at the edge of the dock, her feet dangling lazily over the edge, not stirring the water. It was a long day. She came to visit her parents at their vacation home to escape life in Metropolis. Well, at least that is what she told her Mom, the General, and Lucy.

She really came up here so she could have space from the end her relationship with Richard. They both knew it was over, but neither of them was ready to take the proper steps to move on. She could not move forward toward a new beginning without first having an ending.

With a sigh she flipped open her cell phone and started dialing.

"Hi Lo, how is the vacation going?" His voice was casual and relaxed.

"Jason already has adopted a new pet frog, 'Greeny Beany'" her attempt at polite small talk was not working. Her tone as usual betrayed her emotions. Lois took a deep breath and before she lost her courage "Richard, we need to figure a way to move on. I'm sorry, but we both know this isn't working anymore."

He chuckled softly on the phone "I know, Lois, I'm just not sure how." His tone was earnest, and she understood what he meant. The logistics were difficult. Who keeps the house? Who will pick Jason up from school? How do we break the news to the people at work? She desperately wanted to keep a small collection of coffee table art books she had collected over the years, she normally didn't have materialistic attachments but these books felt important to her. She remembered when she started collecting them, about six years ago.

"Last month when we had that argument about my covering of the Claudis trial, I realized then that you didn't love _me. _You love a woman who doesn't really exist. To be fair I don't think you really know meI think - I don't think I have been myself for some time now"She bit her lip, _why did she have to be mean, _she was not a cruel person, but the fact that Richard was avoiding the - whose moving out conversation was eating away at her last nerve.

Her feet dipped into the water as they spoke, creating waves of circles floating across the lake.

"I thought I did." There was a pause. "But now I think I have come to realize that was wrong. Do you love someone else?"

She knew exactly who he was talking about, and she knew she was not going to engage in this conversation with Richard. This was a question she was trying to answer for herself. "Richard" she inhaled deeply "you deserve better then me. You deserve someone who can love you the way you thought you loved me."

"Lois, I want to be part of Jason's life, he is my son no matter whose DNA he has."

"I would _never_ ask you to stay away. Of course you can be part of Jason's life. I have been afraid you wouldn't want to be. Let's work out the details of the situation when we come back."

"Goodnight, Lo."

"Goodnight, Richard and thanks."

Even though Lois was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, she dove into the lake. The water felt cool on her skin and revived her. For the first time in years she felt free, alive and hopeful.

She began to swim across the lake, and while she was swimming she thought about _him_. It had only been a few months since his release from the hospital, and she suspected that he was avoiding her. She knew he came almost nightly to check in on Jason, but he would always leave when she came near. At least twice a week in the late afternoon she would go onto the roof of the _Planet_ and wait for him, he never came. She never called for him because she felt that would be a betrayal of Richard, she just always hoped he would show up.

Her strokes in the water became increasingly fierce as she thought about the situation. _How can I not remember sleeping with him? Was it a one night stand or was it something more? _She knew she wasn't above a one-nighter, but somehow she thought Superman wasn't the kind of guy who slept around.

She wanted, no, she _needed_ to talk with him. She swam to the far side of the lake and reached the shallow water. She walked onto the beach and looked across the lake at her parent's home. Was she having second thoughts? No, this was the right decision.

"Superman, if you are not busy, can we talk?" _Doesn't he have a real name? _The venom in her thoughts surprised even her_, I mean, come on, Super-Man, man who left me pregnant, scared and alone without a word, without a memory . . .Super-Jerk is more like it. _

Despite these traitorous thoughts going through her mind, she knew it was childish to hold a grudge; after all it wasn't his fault she didn't remember. It was her fault she put herself in a position to get pregnant, and now it was her responsibility to find a way to put her anger behind to figure out how to raise Jason. Jason would need him, and Jason comes first.

She closed her eyes to feel the warm summer night breeze on her face. When she opened her eyes, he was in front of her.

"Hello Lois." His voice was deep, and sent a tingle through her.

"We need to talk. We need to clear the air between us. We cannot pretend the past has not happened, we need to come to terms with it and figure a way to move on."

"Lois, I am so sorr---"

She put her hand up in a motion for him to stop. "Let me go first, I have a lot to say."

_When does she _not_ have a lot to say_, he thought silently to himself. He quickly looked her over, and it was amusing to see her so disheveled. It appeared she swam across the lake wearing her clothes. Her hair was knotty and matted, and her t-shirt accentuated her curves, but he quickly glanced away. She was gorgeous, and if he starred to long, it would be noticeable that he thought so.

She had been practicing this speech in her mind for the last several weeks. Like a diver on the edge of the board she drew in a deep breath.

"I am sorry. I don't know why I don't remember us, but I have no memories of kissing you, let alone creating a child with you. I think, I was involved with a co-worker of mine during the time when Jason was conceived, and I have some fuzzy memories of being in a relationship with him, but I do not remember too many details. I think I was in love with him, but then to know I cheated on him with you is hard for me to understand. I never thought of myself to be like that."

"Lois, this co-worker you mentioned, are you talking about Richard?"

"No, not Richard. God, I am really making a mess of things at the office aren't I? First Clark, then Richard and now Clark again . . . really if I don't have a reputation by now…."

"Did you say Clark? Do you mean Clark Kent?" He stood now, arms crossed over his chest, not making eye contact with Lois, instead looking out to the water.

"Oh, of course you must know Clark, he helped me write a few stories about you. Is this going to make things awkward between the two of you, I mean I don't want to hurt Clark anymore then I have already."

_Did she say 'hurt Clark'? What is she talking about?_ He reviewed the last several months in his mind, and she had been _nice_ to him, at least in the last couple of weeks. At night while flying around, he often thought the niceness was odd, and he missed her pointy sarcasm, but he was enjoying being on her good side of late. More confused then ever, he spoke trying to hide the madness of his words, "How have you hurt Clark?"

"Well, I said I am pretty sure I was dating him – the memories aren't clear, but I have better memories of kissing him, then those of you, and I think he found out I cheated on him with you. That's why he left for a few years. I think it hurt him too much to know." Lois' voice was tinted with a sad regret "Jimmy said Clark was speechless when he found out I had a child, I think he was sad that Jason wasn't his."

Superman was overwhelmed with emotions at the words Lois spoke. He recalled holding the picture his first day at the office " . . .Lois is a mommy" Jimmy had told him. At that moment he didn't know what hurt more the fear that Jason was not his son or the fear that he was. It's funny how a moment, a second, four words changed his life.

Lois and Superman stood in silence lost in their own thoughts. He recalled their relationship all those years ago, and he wondered why Lois remembered kissing Clark and not him or that he _was_ him.

Lois' voice brought him back to the present.

She misunderstood his frozen stance. "Although, I am sorry that we jumped into bed together all those years ago, I am not sorry about Jason."

The images of them in bed together flashed through his mind and the air seemed to be electrified with an intensity of attraction drawing them to each other. Their body language shifted slightly so they were now angled towards each other. Lois was looking at her feet, and Superman was looking at her.

Lois felt the tension in the air, blushed and stumbling on her words as she managed to finish her train of thought, "He is the best part of my life, the best part of me. I don't know what happened to me to cause me to forget about six months of my life – you don't know how scary it is to find yourself pregnant and the two people you trusted more then anyone before the six month period are gone."

Guilt overwhelmed him. In the pit of his overall being he understood he could not let another day go by without confessing his actions.


	2. Chapter 2  the men in her life

Beta Team: Special thanks goes out to my very patient, very talented beta team: **RheaJediknight,**

**markclark**

and special technical consultant

**vanel**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they are the rights of their perspective owners, I am not involved with Superman Returns or the Superman comics or any other Superman franchise. DC Comics owns Superman. I am not making money from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Part 2– the men in her life**

_What about Richard, he thought. _His arms still crossed staring out over the lake. He listened to Jason's heartbeat from the lake house. It was his favorite sound in the world.

"Richard and I finally realized it's over between us, romantically at least. There are still details to work out, who will keep the house, and the extent of his involvement with Jason – but we're over"

_Could she read my mind?_ Superman thought, still amazed at what Lois had told him so far.

"Oh?"

"Richard is a good man, he deserves better then me. He doesn't love me, he loves the idea of me, and he just needed my help to understand that."

Superman thought for a moment, he thought Richard adored Lois. All the actions indicated a man who loved both of them. "Why do you think Richard wasn't in love with you?"

"It was staring me in the face all these years, but I just needed someone like Clark, who although may not have forgiven me, it's obvious he still cares for me in some ways at least."

Lois walked on the edge of the lake, her feet soaking in the water. "It's the coffee thing that tipped me off – that brought the whole thing into clarity for me a few weeks ago."

Only Lois could find the answers to her love life at the bottom of her coffee mug. He was curious though, what exactly was his involvement in this? He was always so careful at work, keeping a distance, being passive, sitting in the background. He liked Richard. He made an effort each day to not lead her away from him – so how had he accomplished just that? He paused a little longer then necessary, but he needed time to control the smile that he felt overcoming his face with this new information.

"Do you," he shifted his feet slightly not sure if he should ask, but needing to know all the same "I mean, what happened with the coffee?"

"Oh, it's silly really - you wouldn't understand."

She is literally the only person on the planet who would tell Superman 'you wouldn't understand' – he smiled inwardly at himself, in awe of the woman next to him, the only person in the world who saw him as a man, a man who could do great things, but just a man at the end of the day.

_How did he leave the only woman who ever understood him? And why?_

He couldn't help himself, he stepped closer to her and playfully nudged her arm, and she swayed slightly on her feet. "Try me, Lois, you might be surprised, I am quick on the uptake."

"Well," she began, slightly embarrassed, but committing herself to tell the story, "You may not know this about me, but I am not the most pleasant person before I have finished my first cup of coffee in the morning I sort of have a fully justified reputation around the office about my 'disposition' before ten o'clock." She looked at him for encouragement to continue.

"Hmmm, I _may _have heard something about that, but I find that hard to imagine." He turned fully away for a moment so that she could not see the smile in his eyes.

"Well, Richard's way of dealing with my 'disposition' was to wean me off the caffeine. At the house he only would brew half-cafe, and at lunch only non-caffeinated sodas for me."

She paused for a moment taking advantage of Superman's turned head, to admire his physical appearance; he was something to look at. _How could I not remember sleeping with him – and why doesn't he offer any explanations, he knows I don't remember what happened to me?_

Her silence was long, he didn't understand. "What does Clark have to do with that?"

"Oh," she glanced at the sky for a moment to collect her train of thought on the story. "Clark's way of dealing with my 'disposition' is that if he wants to work with me before 10 am, he always has a venti coffee waiting for me on my desk in the morning – _fully caffeinated with an extra shot_. – I think he rather enjoys it when I am all keyed up and on point."

He smiled to himself, he never thought of it in those terms. He simply got her coffee in the morning because he loved to see that smile on her face when she first notices it on her desk. He loved to see her happy, and he was always amazed how such a complex, sophisticated woman, could be won over by a simple venti coffee. He wanted to do it everyday, but he was afraid she might think it presumptuous.

It was odd how he purposefully was trying not to get between Richard and Lois' relationship, but he couldn't help not doing anything. The coffee seemed innocuous enough.

Saving a hundred people trapped under a building was easier then navigating around one relationship. To his credit, he did have a good amount of experience in saving people from buildings, but not a whole lot of experience in relationships to draw upon.

Lois then noticed the sun was just peeking over the horizon and causing the water to turn golden. "Wow, I didn't realize how long we were talking, I better get back before my family wakes and worries about where I am."


	3. Chapter 3 the truth will set you free

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they are the rights of their perspective owners, I am not involved with Superman Returns or the Superman comics or any other Superman franchise. DC Comics owns Superman. I am not making money from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Part 3 – only the truth will set you free **

This would have been the perfect end to the evening, but he could not let another day pass without confessing. He knew only the truth would heal, and he could not begin a relationship with her, either as Clark or as Superman without telling her what a horrible thing he had done, without confessing his deceit.

"Lois, I have to tell you something." He said it simply, the ache of regret deep in his voice and his normally powerful confident stance weakened. He softly grabbed her shoulders and turned her so that her body was facing his.

He touched her chin gently and raised her face so she was looking him in the eye. It would be so easy to kiss her right now, to taste her lips again. The ache inside him was real, but he knew he could not.

The sound of her pulse quickening brought him back into the moment.

He took a step back from her, not breaking his gaze. His voice sounded broken "What I have to tell you will make you very upset and angry with me, and it will not be unjustified."

He inhaled deeply, "After I tell you this, I will do whatever you think is best. If you wanted me to I would promise to stay away from you, to stay away from Jason. I would keep my distance – I will do whatever it is you ask of me."

He knew as he said the words it was partially a lie. He would stay away from her _and_ Jason if she asked, but he would never stop watching over them, protecting them.

She couldn't imagine what he could say to her which would make her so angry – didn't they just clear the air – Oh, wait he started off apologizing for something earlier and she cut him off.

"Jason needs you and I would never take that away from _him_."

She was on guard now.

"Please hear what I am saying, all of it. If I had known, if I had thought for one minute that you could be pregnant, I would never have left, I would have never had done what I did. I did this because I thought it would be better for you to not know, to not remember, _us_. I did what I did out of love, nothing less. I have regretted my actions every moment since returning. Since _understanding_ what I did to you. I didn't know Lois."

She was scared for the first time in many years. She was frightened. She knew he was going to tell her something that she was happier not knowing.

A wave of anxiousness covered her.

Her voice was soft and confused, "I never thought I could be afraid in your presence, but suddenly I am terrified. _What did you do to me_?"

Although he had practiced this speech several times over the last few months, he knew no words would be adequate . He knew in order to heal, in order to move forward either together or apart, he had to confess his actions. He had to admit his failures.

"I took your memories. I made it so you would not remember _us_, to protect you, to free you of this burden. And then I left because it hurt me too much to be near you and for you not to remember _us. _Without you, I am alone. I went to Krypton in the hopes of finding others like me, perhaps learning about where I come from and who I am. Now I realize the decision was hasty and I should have asked you before I took your memories and I should have endured the pain. I should have realized home is where you are, and when I had you I was home. If I stayed even a few short weeks longer, I would have known you were pregnant. Lois, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for being weak, for being a coward, for not believing in _you_, for not believing in _us_, for abandoning you, for taking away your memories. I am sorry for everything."

She prayed what she heard was a dream. She didn't want this moment to be real. However, nothing in the last five years felt more real then this moment. She knew he was telling her the truth. She took hold of her anger, she took hold of her pain and lashed out at him.

"You_ purposefully_ took six months of my life away? I thought I was _drugged_. I thought I was _raped. _I thought I was _crazy. _I didn't know who the _father of my child was_? You took that from me . . .on purpose?"

He walked over to hold her, she was shaking.

"Take your fucking hands off me! Go to hell."

She started to walk into the water. Now the sun was reflecting a golden shine off the ripples in the lake. It looked to beautiful; the exact opposite of how she felt. Her insides had been torn out.

The air was thick with morning dew. She needed to be in motion, she needed to swim.

She felt him come up behind her, to comfort her, but she was furious and she knew she should have paused to consider her next actions, but she didn't, and she spun around and slapped him as hard as she could across the face.

It didn't take long for the pain to set in. Her hand hurt so much she almost had to laugh at herself for not considering the fact that hitting him would hurt her more.

But she was wrong. Although the physical touch of the slap didn't hurt him, its meaning and the intention behind the slap was not lost on him. The guilt took hold of him.

"Lois, let me see your hand" his voice was soft but commanding.

"Don't you dare touch me." The weight of the conversation crushed her.

Lois threw herself into the water and swam back to the dock.

He saw her safely to the dock before he flew away, the regret of the last five years weighing him down.


	4. Chapter 4  one memory

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they are the rights of their perspective owners, I am not involved with Superman Returns or the Superman comics or any other Superman franchise. DC Comics owns Superman. I am not making money from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N - Please note this story was written for the 12days of Clois on LJ - and my Theme was birthday and my prompt was a lake. This means that in the story someone has to be celebrating a birthday. This is the last of the chapters which was part of the 12days story. After this the story takes on a life of it's own outside the theme and prompt for the challenge.**

**If you are reading this story - please review - I love feedback and because I am new to writing in the Superman genre I would really like to know how this story is being received. I have a funny feeling after August 7th I am going to pick up my Twilight story again because new inspiration will be available . . .but your reviews will keep me going.**

**Part 4 – one memory**

Lois was a good liar. The situations she got herself into as a reporter demanded it. By the time the house was awake for breakfast, she managed to pull herself together enough so as to not ruin Jason's vacation at the lake. This is how the next two days passed. On her last night at the lake, she decided she was strong enough to have a conversation with him, again. She now could have answers to what happened to her during those lost six months, and that desire, the desire to know, overcame her anger for the moment.

She swam out to the far side of the lake and called him.

"I need to know. .." Her voice was flat and her arms were crossed defensively.

"Anything, Lois," he was relieved she was speaking to him, but he could not make eye contact with her.

She inhaled sharply, "I want answers." She looked up at him to make sure she still held his attention. "Were we in a relationship?"

"Yes, very much so." He looked her in the eye.

"Was I in a relationship with Clark as well?" He looked away.

Although he had anticipated this question, he couldn't answer it. He wouldn't lie to her, but he couldn't bear to tell her the truth at this moment. It was selfish, he knew, but he couldn't lose her as Clark, not now.

"We were very committed to each other, Lois"

His evasion was not lost on her, but she knew from countless interviews that he wouldn't explain further at this point. She would have to press that question at another time.

She broke eye contact to stare at the moon's reflection on the water, "And you did this to me because you _loved _me?"

"Because I _love_ you."

Her eyes were watering, but she quietly sniffed back the tears. "I don't remember loving you, how can I not remember loving you?"

He turned his back toward her.

He could no longer look her in the eye. Her question was rhetorical. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to not remember what it was like to love Lois.

"I want one memory back, I am sorry if it will be awkward, but I have to have it, it's a hole which is burning me, threatening to tear me apart all these years. I have to know."

It was getting harder and harder for her to hold back the tears. "I have to know how our child was conceived." The tears were running down her cheeks. She couldn't hide it.

He ached because he had caused her this pain. He wanted to touch her, comfort her, _and kiss_ her. He wanted to hold her.

Instead he settled on asking "Do you know the date, I mean, when, do you know when he was conceived?"

"Between February 28th and March 1st."

He laughed out loud. He couldn't help himself. Lois smiled slightly as well, although her stance remained terse. "What is funny?"

"Well, um, uh . . ." he didn't realize how awkward this could be, "my Birthday is February 29th."

Lois struggled not to smile, to remain stern and to focus on the anger. However, when she looked up, and saw his blue eyes watching her, they both laughed out loud.

But, Lois being Lois she couldn't resist, "Too bad you didn't stick around to receive your present."

He ignored her sarcasm, but was humbled by its meaning.

"You planned an elaborate romantic evening. You looked more beautiful then I had ever seen you. You wore a floor length black dress with a halter front and your hair was pulled back in a ballerina bun. You were exquisite." He looked at her trying to read her expression.

"I always wondered where I had worn that dress. It didn't seem like something I would normally wear in public, it doesn't leave too much to the imagination."

"No, it didn't." He couldn't hide the longing in his voice.

They both looked away from each other, clearly embarrassed.

"Just as we were about to leave, there was an earthquake in Mexico. I was gone for a few hours. You were asleep by the time I returned, and when I looked at you still wearing the dress. I remember clearly how happy I felt at that moment, that I was lucky enough to belong to you. I hadn't meant to wake you, but I couldn't resist kissing you, happy that you were there in my arms."

He risked a glance at her, and saw she was watching him intensely. "Please finish?" she asked.

"Well, I um, I mean, you can assume the rest, and now we have Jason."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean . . .Uh" she couldn't stop stammering, the air was thick.

She thought for a moment, "that is different then I thought, I mean not that I thought about you like that, I mean I had, but um, I mean, it just seems so _normal_."

Lois paused lost in her train of thought, she had it all wrong, all these years, she didn't put a single piece of the puzzle in the right place.

"Lois, I am sorry, you have to know that." His voice was broken as he spoke.

She found her words, she wanted him to know how not having the memories tortured her, she wanted him to understand her pain, "At first I thought I must have been rapped." She stole a glance at him.

_How could I have let this happen?_

Satisfied she had his attention she continued "I didn't realize I was pregnant until I was nine weeks along, I didn't have much time to choose. Having children was never something I thought I would do . . .it's not something I stopped to consider, before that"

"Lois, I don't know what to say"

She turned away from him again, not wanting to look him in the eye "I then focused on the period of time of my life right before the six month period, and I thought about the men in my life, and I thought Clark and I must have been in a romantic relationship. He was my friend, my partner, my confidant, why not my lover?"

She picked up a rock and through it in the water. "I guess I convinced myself the baby I was carrying was his, and as soon as I thought that, as soon as I was certain Clark was my baby's father, I knew what to do, it all seemed so clear at the time."

He saw the tears running down her face. He walked over and hesitated a moment, unsure of how she would react. He gently put his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

As soon as she felt his arms around her, and her body warming to his temperature, she could no longer hold back her emotions and she crumpled in his arms. Between the tears she managed to say "I was so sure Clark was Jason's father I nearly called his mother several times. I just wanted someone to know to understand. I had to lie to everyone around me, I couldn't bare to tell people that he left me, so instead I made up that I was dating someone long distance and soon after the affair ended I found out I was pregnant."

Lois untangled herself from his arms and found her anger again "And all this time, I had it wrong, _you're_ the father of my child, and Clark and I had never been romantically involved, it was _you_ all along."

Lois stepped into the water "I'm going to tell you something right now and you better listen closely"

It caught him off guard how easily her emotions flipped. He stepped backafraid of_ her._ He saw the anger return to her face. "Lois, please", it was a whisper, too low for her to hear.

Her voice was strained between sadness and anger "First, don't ever lay your hands on me again. Second, and this is the part you better pay attention to, if you hurt _my_ son, if you leave again or if you try any of those mind altering tricks on him, I will make you pay. You try any of this suggestiveness hypnotic bullshit with _my_ child, the wrath I will unleash upon you will make Lex Luther look like your best friend."


	5. Chapter 5 Much Ado About Everything

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they are the rights of their perspective owners, I am not involved with Superman Returns or the Superman comics or any other Superman franchise. DC Comics owns Superman. I am not making money from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.**

Thank you RheaJediKnight – for your amazing betaing skills . . .

**Chapter 2 - much ado about everything**

It was difficult for Lois to reconcile the emotions which passed through her since her conversation on the shore with Superman. The car drive home was long. Jason was watching a DVD about elephants in the back, while Lois dwelled on the new information presented to her.

_Superman. _Although their last conversation was civil, the thought of his name made her want to hit something - hard. And then tears to build in her eyes, threatening to fall free. _What else don't I remember? Why did he want me to forget? _It was the latter question she dwelled on much of the time. He didn't offer any real explanations other then he thought it would be easier for her not to remember, but that seemed like a trivial explanation for wiping away six months of a person's memories.

_Clark._ Why did she think she remembered kissing Clark? At work he certainly didn't act like they had any type of romantic relationship in the past, but those memories seemed very real to her. She could almost remember tasting his lips, and the security of his embrace.

It was late when she pulled her Audi into the garage. Richard came out of the house to help her unload their belongings.

"Hi kiddo" Richard said as he scooped Jason into his arms. "Let's go put your new turtle in with the others."

Richard winked at Lois before turning back to the house. Richard is a good man, Lois thought as she grabbed a few bags and walked into the house.

She sighed as she entered the kitchen, this house never felt like home, Richard never felt like home, and finally she was beginning to understand. Lois never knew what she had lost so she never had the proper time to grieve, and all at once it was overwhelming. She needed time alone, to process this new information, time to grieve.

Lois poured herself a cup of coffee and sat on a bar stool in the kitchen waiting for Richard to return from putting Jason to sleep fighting to keep the tears from leaking.

"So what' s the plan Lois?" he asked softly as he crossed over to her. He stood behind her, not wanting to make eye contact, but unable to stop himself from touching her. He wanted to make love to her one more time. He wished he had paid more attention the last time they were together. His hands gently rubbed her shoulders.

"What do you mean by plan?" Her voice was husky, it would be so easy to end up with him again. Richard was safe.

She turned her stool around so she was facing him. They were silent starring into each other's eyes. They both had a longing expression, Lois' wanted to feel safe, to be comforted. Richard wanted to say goodbye, to have closure.

As if his mind caught up with his actions, he suddenly became aware of how close he was from kissing her, and he took a step back. The lost connection between them made the tension in the air thick. "I'm sure you have already thought of what the arrangements should be. I'd just figure I'd go along with what you decided, for the most part."

"I don't want this house. I want something smaller perhaps closer to work." Lois said.

"Lois, Jason loves it here; he loves playing in the yard." Richard said pleadingly.

"Why don't you keep the house for when you have some time with Jason then?"

_Some_ _time,_ Richard thought. That was all he was ever going to have with this boy whom he helped raise from an infant. _Some time, _the thought repeated. Until she said it aloud he didn't think of it in those terms. What claim did he have to him? He always knew he wasn't Jason's biological father. Heck, she was already pregnant when they had their first date.

First date, he thought of the day he first asked her out. He had wanted to ask her out since he first saw her (Richard started working at the _Planet_ immediately following the Zod incident to help put the paper back together), rumor had it she was not dating anyone, but anytime he watched he thought he saw something between her and her partner at the time, Clark. Then quite suddenly their interactions changed, it was subtle. He was sure he was the only one who noticed, but all of sudden there didn't appear to be anything intimate in their exchanges, nothing beyond friendly colleagues. Clark's mood became dark and sullen and a week later he quite the paper to begin his world tour. It took him almost another three weeks to work up the nerve to ask her out.

It was on their first date Lois told him she had been involved in a relationship with a man who lived in Chicago, and they had broken up about two months before. It was also on their first date Lois told him she was pregnant. Now he was sure he understood, Clark had a crush on Lois and she must have told him about the baby and he couldn't handle the thought of her carrying another man's child. It explained his sudden change in mood and his departure.

The sound of her voice brought him back into the present. "Richard? The house . . .do you want to keep the house?"

"I'm not going to stay in this house, alone. We bought this house because you said you wanted a big family, at least four kids?"

_He was right, she did say that all those years ago - while she was pregnant with Jason, but everyone knows hormones can make one crazy._

She knew in her heart she didn't want to be tied to Richard in the way kids would bound her to him, but she wasn't going to say that to him, that would be cruel.

"Richard, I don't want four kids. If that is something I told you it must have been because I was emotional. "

He was angry now. "I don't really know you at all, do I?" He walked over to her, but restrained himself from touching her. He stood a careful distance in front of her, and for perhaps the second occasion in all their years together he raised his voice at her "you wasted my time all these years . . .I loved you Lois, I really did."

She smiled "I know Richard, and I tried, I really did" her voice was soft and apologetic.

That night, Richard slept in the guest room, and Lois had her first dream about the museum. It was dark and the museum was closed but she was walking around, searching for something, a painting. She was frantically running through the rooms, looking for it. The memory of what _it_ was eluded her. _She knew unconsciously that what she was searching for was the key to unlock something important, something forgotten. _

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Lois crossed the bullpen floor with quick confident strides. As much as her personal life was a mess, this was the one place she was successful.

He had been watching her since she walked into the lobby. X-ray vision came in handy once in awhile. He was nervous. He was unsure he would be able to hide the strain of their last interaction. He sat at his desk dutifully typing away at an op-ed piece for the Sunday edition. This piece was focused on the environment and the city's loose standards on recycling and focused on holding businesses accountable for recycling paper products and other types of waste.

"Thanks, Clark" she said holding up the cup of coffee on her desk.

"Uh, sure Lois, no problem . . ." He had to use a good amount of effort to mask the longing in his voice "I was getting myself a cup anyway."

Lois looked at her desk. She was only out of town for a couple of days, but the Claudis trial was underway, and since there were no camera's allowed in the courtroom she had to rely on the transcripts of the trial to write her stories. She had been following and writing about Claudis for the last two years, and a few of her exposé's helped the police gather the evidence to bring him to trial.

She removed her blazer and turned on her computer.

Her perfume scented the air and Clark was not unaffected by it. He stirred uncomfortably in his seat. It was difficult to sit inches away from her at work and not be able to show how he felt about her. It was difficult, but if he wanted to be near, if he wanted to protect her, this was the only way. He hoped she might one day forgive him, and this was his only opportunity to try and earn it.

The morning hours ticked by quickly and the bustle of the afternoon lunch rush around the newsroom began.

Lois leaned back in her chair and unconsciously tapped her heel on the floor.

Richard had been watching Lois and Clark through out the morning. He was not stupid, and he was not convinced Clark's untimely return and the demise of his relationship with Lois were unrelated. He was looking for that spark he had once seen between them, a hint that they were intimate.

Suddenly, Lois stood up, grabbed her tote and her blazer and headed for the elevator.

"Lois, wait up, uh Lois" Clark took long strides to catch up to her. "Are you going for lunch? We haven't had much time to catch up, and I was wondering if you would like get a sandwich or something?"

Lois thought for a moment. Just last week she would have enjoyed, wanted Clark's company, but now, having learned they were never intimate, she wanted space. It was one thing to want to rekindle something old, but she was in no place to start something new and she didn't want to lead Clark on. She needed to put some distance between herself and all the men in her life.

"I'm sorry Clark, I need to run some errands, maybe later in the week?" She almost felt bad for lying.

Clark nodded and took a step back and let the elevators separate them. _This is going to be very difficult._

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Lois hit the pavement and hailed a taxi "Burger Palace, please."

Forty minutes later, stuffed from a bacon cheeseburger and large coke, Lois stood outside Burger Palace, elated. The day was looking better.

She decided to walk back to work and enjoy the spring afternoon breeze. She quickly traded her heels for the pair of sneakers she kept in her tote sized purse and started her way back to the Planet.

As she crossed 117th street, she had a nagging feeling someone was watching her. She paused in front of a store window and glanced at the reflections.

She spun around and found herself about twenty yards from Billy Ray, one of Tom Claudis' sidekicks. Her heart started racing, this couldn't be happening. He was standing in the shadows and he was well aware she was watching him.

She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Flight or fight senses were kicking in and she had yet to determine which route she would take. Cautiously, she turned around to face him and to sum up her surroundings. He was smirking, and nodding at her. She surveyed the street and noticed the afternoon lunch crowd was headed back to work and the streets were quickly emptying.

Without provocation or warning, Billy Ray extended his empty hand like he was holding a revolver in it and mouthed "BOOM" to her.

Lois didn't have time to react when a black SUV came speeding around the corner and Billy Ray hopped in. It sped away.

Lois took off down the street chasing after the SUV. She needed to get a license plate and she needed it fast. The license plate would be the only way to prove it was Billy Ray, who had managed in the last six months to avoid arrest himself because of several technicalities.

She saw the SUV up ahead of her stuck between four cars at a red light.

She saw the light on the cross street was turning yellow, but a white truck was blocking her view, _come on Lois, move faster_ - _now I wish I never smoked. _Although her legs were carrying her, her lungs were out of breath. Each step was harder.

Ten seconds, that is all she had before the light turned green.

Her legs were pounding the pavement in front of her, each step becoming more and more painful.

5 seconds, so close, she pushed herself harder, faster. .

"Damn it!!" she yelled.

She was still three car lengths behind when the light turned. As the SUV raced down Bell Boulevard she could only make out two digits ---x-9.

Lois leaned against a building and bent down, her breathing fast and intense, her heart pounding. "Dash, Dash, Dash, ex, dash, nine; Dash, Dash, Dash, ex, dash, nine"

She motioned with her hands while her mind stayed focus to passer buyers on the street, for a pen, any kind of writing utensil. "Dash, Dash, Dash, ex, dash, nine . . ."

Finally, one person stopped and handed her a pen. Lois quickly scribbled ---x-9 on her arm. "Thank you"

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Clark was sitting at his desk mulling over his situation with Lois when he heard her heart rate speed up. 159 beats per minute, she must be terrified. He quickly glanced around the office and realized no one would notice his disappearance and headed to the elevators.

Moments later, he was watching from the sky. Lois was running down the street, but no one was chasing her. He wondered what incident had provoked the current situation.

When he realized there was no immediate danger and she was after a license plate number he hovered for a moment took notice of the plates on the SUV and returned to the Planet. He thought about swooping down and assisting her, since whatever it was she was after, he sensed her urgency, but she was still angry with him and he didn't want to get into another altercation with her. Not yet anyway.

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"CHIEF!!" Lois bellowed as she dashed across the bullpen to Perry's office where he was talking with the new staff reporter - her cousin Chloe. "Perry" her speech was in gasps because she was still out of breath and her heart was racing.

She turned around, half expecting Clark to have followed her into the Chief's office but to her dismay he was still sitting quietly at his desk. "CLARK!!"

Clark smiled inwardly when he heard Lois yell for him, _okay maybe not everything has changed_. "Uh, Uh, coming Lois." He moved swiftly to Perry's office making sure to knock over some papers on the desk next to him on the way.

"I was . . ." she struggled to catch her breath.

Clark extended his hand and gave her a cold glass of water. Lois nodded to him, and winked, grateful he was back.

"I was followed by Billy Ray. I think he was sent to give me a warning." Lois gulped the water, nearly choking. She repeated the motions of his warning, frantically demonstrating the 'boom'.

Chloe's eyebrows rose in concern, "I'll call Jason's school and make sure he's okay."

Lois touched Chloe's shoulder as she passed.

She held out her arm - "I only got a partial license plate ---x-9, it was a black SUV, perhaps an Escalade."

Clark mentally cursed himself. It didn't occur to him that the license plate Lois was trying to obtain would be something useful in protecting their son. He should have stopped those men when he had the chance. Clark realized instantly he had another problem, although Lois was right, it was a black Escalade, the partial license plate she had remembered was not in the correct order, the license plate was fuex609.

"Uh, Chief, Umm, uh Lois" Clark said pushing on his glasses. "I'll call my police contacts and run those plates."

"Good Idea Clark, and don't CALL ME CHIEF!" Perry barked.

Clark, walking out of the office bumped into the frame of the door as Chloe was walking in "Geeze, Smallville, try and pick up some coordination skills while you're out. This sloppy routine is getting old, and I only know you a few weeks."

Clarksmiled inwardly and left the office.

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Clark decided he wanted to check out Jason's school for himself and he quickly exited the _Planet_ building and took off for the sky.

Jason's school was tucked away in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs. It was a private elementary school for children who showed some natural gifts towards the arts. Jason was showing all the signs of becoming a great pianist.

Although he was not around when Jason was accepted the rumor in the office was that the school had originally denied his application partly because he had an asthma attack during his performance interview and was unable to finish his piece. Apparently, most people cleared the office when Richard broke the news to Lois, for fear she would lash out at anyone nearby. Instead, she surprised everyone and without so much as a word she went to work at her computer. Thirty minutes later she had the headmistress of the school on the phone, and she began by reading the article she had written:

_Local elementary school for talented youth _

_Discriminates against children with special needs._

A talented local boy has been denied entry into the prestigious Madam Flores School of the Arts because he had an asthma attack during his audition. City health officials have been called to test the air quality in the auditorium. Those tests are currently being reviewed by the School Board. The school has denied the boy a second audition and admission into the program.

An hour later a fax arrived at the _Planet_ with Jason's admission notification.

As Superman neared the school he smiled at the thought of Lois on the phone with the headmistress. He held no doubt she would never have published the article and expose their son, but he was sure the Mistress was convinced otherwise. She was good at calling a bluff. That was how she trapped him into confessing his other persona, many years before. That was one of the things he loved most about her, the fire that could be lit.

A quick sweep with x-ray vision and he found Jason in reading and writing class, attentively writing sentences. He glanced at the page he was working on and grinned. Well, at least he did not inherit her creative spelling.

He swiftly surveyed the rest of the school and its perimeter, finding no traces of anything unusual or the black SUV, he headed back to work.


End file.
